Some days I wish...

That we could sell our house and move into a smaller place that we could afford without my income and I could stay home and raise our children (child right now, but yes, we want more) and life might be tough sometimes but we’d make it, right?

That’s how I felt today. My sweet little girl is on day 3 of some kind of yucky stomach bug and I just wanted to be there with her and hold her and let her know that it will be ok. I was able to stay home with her yesterday and it was wonderful but today, even though I knew she was in the very capable hands of her Daddy, I experienced being torn (not the first time) with working and staying home and the balance of it all. Sigh. Now I know what you might be thinking - it is what it is, and sometimes you get in a situation and you just have to be patient. And didn’t I have the chance to do just that a few months ago when I was let go from my job? Well, yea, but if we wanted to keep our home, I had to go back. Things might never be what I want. And honestly, sometimes I don’t know if I want to stay home full time. I do know that I’d like to have the option, to have some flexibility, and to say, at anytime, ok, I’m going home now to be with my kids. Life is unpredictable though and times are tough and who knows what could happen tomorrow. I know that I don’t want to look back on these times and wish I had done something different. I know that I truly must be content in whatever circumstances I am given. But more and more, I have the longing to be home and do what I think is the hardest job of them all.

BIG Sigh….

** I want to be sure you all know that I use this blog as an outlet for my thoughts, and not to have a pity party for myself and have whoever feeling sorry for me. I really don't want that. But I know there are others out there who share these same feelings with me. **

Is she not the sweetest thing you've ever seen??

Catching Up!

I have no idea what to blog about right now, mainly because it’s December and this time of year is just so crazy sometimes. If I had some extra vacation days like I usually do then I’d be good, I think. Maybe not. But I can’t complain. Things are going great and the biggest news of all is that Abbie is STILL SLEEPING fabulously! If you just read my blog and aren’t on Facebook, you may not even know that at all. But this has been going on for well over a week. So what finally made Abbie start sleeping through the night, you ask? Well, it took a little fussing on her part, and a little of me just holding my breath and telling myself that she was FINE. Literally, the kid would just yell, not even cry, Momma, Momma, over and over. The first night or two it might have been 5 minutes, but after that it was done. Now she goes right to sleep the second I leave the room, and she might wake up once a night for about 15 seconds. It’s way too short to count, I know that. She goes to sleep around 8, sometimes a few minutes before, and she has been gradually sleeping later and later. At first it was 5am. EARLY. Then it was 5:30. A little better. And this morning it was almost 6. Now that is more like it. 6 I can handle. Because during the week we like to spend time with the little peanut in the mornings before work. Phew. And I didn’t know what I was going to blog about. So anyways, that’s the big news. This weekend we are headed to Pigeon Forge to celebrate Christmas with some of my family, and we are very excited. Should be interesting to see how Abbie sleeps there, in a pack and play, with us in the same room, but maybe she’ll do ok.

Pictures have been few and far between, mainly because ever since I installed Norton 360 (antivirus software) on our computer, it won’t recognize my camera, and now even though I uninstalled it, it still won’t recognize it. So the only way for me to upload pics is with my SD card, which has way too many pictures on it. I’ve got to figure something out. But here are some recent family pics we had done w/ Sunday Grant – love her, go to her site - http://sundaygrantphotography.blogspot.com/ - if you want to see more of her work. I hope you are all having a fabulous Christmas season!!

Giving Thanks

Today, I am thankful.

I am thankful for a God who loves me no matter what I do, where I’ve been, or what I’m going to do. I put Him first here not because it’s always the way I live my life, unfortunately, but to remind me that He’s supposed to be first. I am thankful that He forgives me for being the sinner that I am, and that I am saved by His grace each and every day.

I am thankful for a husband who is not just my husband. He is my best friend on this earth, and he knows me better than anyone else. He may not like me all the time, but I know he loves me and I think we have a pretty good life together.

I am thankful for a daughter who lights up my life like I never imagined. Who keeps us laughing and challenges us in so many ways. Who makes us want to be better.

I am thankful for the rest of my family. Sure, there are some that I wish were in my life that aren’t, but I certainly am grateful for the ones that are around and that I can count on and that can love on my child.

I am thankful for a good job in these hard economic times. I am thankful for good health, good friends, near and far, and for a nice place to call home. I am thankful for my sweet dog, Brandy, and her loving temperament.

I could go on and on, and for that, I am thankful.

Letter From Mom

Dearest Abbie,

I never knew…

That sleeping in now means 7am instead of 10am on Saturdays.

That I would have an instant connection with other moms, suddenly understanding the challenges and joys that go along with having children. And that hearing stories of children who are sick would make me so sad, yet thankful that God has given you good health.

I never knew…

That I would look at other children at stores or restaurants who were misbehaving, and rather than get annoyed or have disapproving thoughts, I’d think to myself, maybe they had a rough night, didn’t get a nap, or are not feeling well.

I never knew…

That I’d be trying to avoid work-related travel and late meetings at all costs so I’d be able to spend more time with you.

I never knew…

That I’d be going around singing Nickelodeon or Elmo songs in my head, even when you weren’t around.

That a Friday night at home with you would be so much more fun than a night out.

I never knew…

That whether we have one more, two more, or no more, I would feel so blessed and thankful that God picked you out, especially for your Daddy and I!

Happy 18 months sweet girl. You have brought so much joy into our lives that I never knew before….

Mom

Good week

I had this last week off, so today is my final day of freedom before heading back to work. It's been a good one overall, but very difficult at times as I had a head cold and Abbie is cutting so many teeth I lost count. She is not sleeping well AT ALL, like it's worse than when she was 2 weeks old, so it's been tough. Thankfully I had family in who helped me tremendously and tended to her in the early morning while I caught up on some sleep. I am really praying this is over soon. I am over teething, I'm sure she is over teething, and I think Wes wants his wife back, instead of the small devil I turn into sometimes when I get just a couple hours of snooze time! But it's been good. We had some professional pics done Wednesday - I will share them as soon as I get the DVD (they turned out fabulous!) and then we celebrated Halloween yesterday and Abbie was the cutest ladybug I've ever seen. She has really started forming sentences this last week too. It completely amazes me to see this little tiny girl talk the way she does! She says "bye-bye Brandy, see you tomorrow", for instance. I mean, really?? And my new favorite is when she tastes something, she says "I like it!!". It sounds like "I yike it!" but it's so darn cute. She counts to ten all the time now, and when she says "ten" she says "YEA Abbie!" because that is what I always do when she is done. Also this week she has become completely attached to her baby doll and blanket, and drags them around everywhere with her, talks to her baby, rocks her, tells her to sleep, etc. She has quite the imagination. When she wants something, she says "uh-huh" and nods real eagerly. Like she will say "Mama, cookie, uh-huh??" and nod like a hundred times. Cracks me up. So if anyone has any advice on teething other than Motrin and teething tablets, I'd love to know. I have read mixed reviews on Orajel, it just seems so temporary. She is cutting her molars and I think her cuspids are on their way in too. Hopefully next time I post this will be done....maybe??!!

Way...Too....Fast....

Lately, I have found myself saying these phrases to people around me:

She is growing up SOO fast!

It seems like she does something different every day!

She comes up with the funniest things to say!

I love this age!

Here are a few examples - Last night, as I was rocking Abbie to sleep she popped up, looked at me (I had my eyes closed because I typically get tired way before her) and she said "Mama, wake up". It was so funny, I have no clue where she got that from, because God knows we have never said "wake up" to her. We've never had to!!

Tonight at the Outback, we were leaving and Wes got her out of the high chair, and the next thing we knew she had her shirt off, and her belly was just hanging out. Never done that before.

And this week she learned how to OPEN the doors in our house. Craziness.

So in short, there is never a dull moment in our house. Wes and I constantly find ourselves laughing out loud at her and she just brings so much joy into our lives. I did miss her 17-month update on the 13th, yep, one more month and she'll be halfway through ANOTHER year!

We love her.

Early Morning Update

Greetings! It's Sunday morning, and Abbie and I are the only ones up. It's still dark outside, meaning she woke up WAAYYY too early, but such is the norm these days. She is sleeping better overall though, which is a good thing.

I just wanted to post a quick update to say that things are going good around here. I really like my new position w/ Eaton, and more importantly Abbie has adjusted well to being back at Pam's. I did quickly forget how hard it is to do things in the evenings, like um, make dinner for instance, but I just bought a Slow Cooker cookbook yesterday so I plan on using it all winter! Let's see, what else. Oh, October has brought my 32nd bday already, which ended up being a great one(see Wes and I before my bday dinner above) and then some of my family from VA came in. Then at the end of this month, my family from Florida is coming up for a week! Oh, and I purchased Abbie's Halloween costume already too. It is the CUTEST ladybug (or bebug, as she says) costumer you've ever seen. Yay for Cracker Barrel. Lastly, stay tuned for some professional pictures coming soon! Well, that might be a little premature, but we are having them done the last week of October. Here is my little ballerina...