That’s how I felt today. My sweet little girl is on day 3 of some kind of yucky stomach bug and I just wanted to be there with her and hold her and let her know that it will be ok. I was able to stay home with her yesterday and it was wonderful but today, even though I knew she was in the very capable hands of her Daddy, I experienced being torn (not the first time) with working and staying home and the balance of it all. Sigh. Now I know what you might be thinking - it is what it is, and sometimes you get in a situation and you just have to be patient. And didn’t I have the chance to do just that a few months ago when I was let go from my job? Well, yea, but if we wanted to keep our home, I had to go back. Things might never be what I want. And honestly, sometimes I don’t know if I want to stay home full time. I do know that I’d like to have the option, to have some flexibility, and to say, at anytime, ok, I’m going home now to be with my kids. Life is unpredictable though and times are tough and who knows what could happen tomorrow. I know that I don’t want to look back on these times and wish I had done something different. I know that I truly must be content in whatever circumstances I am given. But more and more, I have the longing to be home and do what I think is the hardest job of them all.
BIG Sigh….
** I want to be sure you all know that I use this blog as an outlet for my thoughts, and not to have a pity party for myself and have whoever feeling sorry for me. I really don't want that. But I know there are others out there who share these same feelings with me. **
Is she not the sweetest thing you've ever seen??
3 comments:
one of the greatest things I am learning as a stay at home mom is that God uses our stuggles to make us more like Him. And I know that He is doing the sme with you. As hard as it isthankfully its teaching you something. Its hard to stay at home. Its hard to work. I dont know if there is a perfect inbetween. But to know that baby girl is growing up with a mamaand daddy who loves her and treats her the way she should be is such a wonderful gift for your family.....and all of us
Ok hope that didnt sound preachy. I have kinda been going through the same type of struggles, just vice versa. And have some amazing people around me who are teaching me alot lately.
Not at all Jess! I appreciate your comments!!
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